Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
