I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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