You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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