Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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