One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
