I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
