What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
