Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
