Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
