Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
