Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize