that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
