I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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