My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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