Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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