Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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