Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
