we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
