i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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