she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
