I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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