hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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