youre lurking in front of me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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