I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
