lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
