so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
