OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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