I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
