when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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