Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize