every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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