Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
