PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
