just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
