remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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