Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
