What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
