I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize