dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
