D3 body, D1 cock
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
