My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
