grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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