I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
