This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
