I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
