Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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