my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
