i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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