did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize