i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
