there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
