the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My dick has a subreddit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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