i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
