yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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