so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
