just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
