if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
