Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot. http://tfl.nu/dkig
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine. http://tfl.nu/7xom
  Replies (50) Good night (4147) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (1092) Bad night (6294)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes http://tfl.nu/yql0
  Replies (18) Good night (3076) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (353): View more from

  I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r
  Replies (41) Good night (5658) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi
  Replies (6) Good night (4703) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days. http://tfl.nu/iucs
  Replies (16) Good night (1776) Bad night (5783)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd
  Replies (12) Good night (2995) Bad night (2773)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end. http://tfl.nu/kio4
  Replies (21) Good night (2807) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room http://tfl.nu/tujl
  Replies (9) Good night (2039) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping. http://tfl.nu/o391
  Replies (1) Good night (956) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck. http://tfl.nu/h7qy
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers. http://tfl.nu/iktn
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester http://tfl.nu/9j7i
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail http://tfl.nu/hvvp
  Replies (1) Good night (243) Bad night (467)

Randomize