i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.