My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
