Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  420 ftw

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  (408): 420 ftw http://tfl.nu/c4kx
  Replies (16) Good night (1299) Bad night (490)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well said.

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  (757): seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with (703): Well said. http://tfl.nu/migv
  Replies (19) Good night (3507) Bad night (678)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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  (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery http://tfl.nu/move
  Replies (17) Good night (4448) Bad night (480)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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  (508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5
  Replies (52) Good night (12361) Bad night (2786)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (776) Bad night (3966)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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  (480): I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies. http://tfl.nu/khmt
  Replies (9) Good night (5823) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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  (301): ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED. http://tfl.nu/hc30
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (537)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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  (214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (1194)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face

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  (215): Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face http://tfl.nu/pn9h
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?

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  (714): Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit? http://tfl.nu/0nii
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (521)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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  (603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av
  Replies (7) Good night (1571) Bad night (856)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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  (570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6
  Replies (7) Good night (1916) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.

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  (310): Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts. http://tfl.nu/j0t2
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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  (603): What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway? http://tfl.nu/5x4t
  Replies (1) Good night (152) Bad night (351)

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