I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space