I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize