Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

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  (206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals http://tfl.nu/cfxk
  Replies (12) Good night (1298) Bad night (553)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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  (516): Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses. http://tfl.nu/khuc
  Replies (12) Good night (663) Bad night (1793)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1837) Bad night (2355)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.

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  (225): ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby. http://tfl.nu/ceb0
  Replies (82) Good night (1236) Bad night (3789)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (7918) Bad night (1290)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (3510)
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  (661): View more from California

  the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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  (661): the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero http://tfl.nu/o327
  Replies (6) Good night (3010) Bad night (871)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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  (715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm
  Replies (11) Good night (3587) Bad night (691)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, that was you

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  (215): Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick? (215): Yeah, that was you http://tfl.nu/rydz
  Replies (7) Good night (2867) Bad night (851)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.

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  (937): I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast. http://tfl.nu/9len
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (929)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA

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  (413): They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA http://tfl.nu/xggi
  Replies (3) Good night (1087) Bad night (507)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself

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  (309): Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself http://tfl.nu/lvoc
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (917)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.

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  (563): The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka. http://tfl.nu/9mlx
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (899)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.

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  (817): Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it. http://tfl.nu/xes0
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (555)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (295)

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