But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
