What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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