I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
