I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
