Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
