Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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