I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm passing your future prison.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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