I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
