Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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