Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
