Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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