Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
